Well I did venture out and about and I fully expected to have a huge crowd around me, listening intently to me sharing God's word. However it wasn't quite like that, I wasn't very good at it actually and all I managed to do for the whole hour, was, to accept a Christian leaflet from a nice man who wasn't with our group. I know what it was, it was fear of rejection, I've always struggled with that one.I'm not daunted though and I will try again, because I want to.
It seems to me the closer you get to God, the more you're tested and things will also most definitely pop up to prevent you getting to church where the comforting arms of the presence of God restores the peace and balance in your life. Rising to the challenge and standing firm is not the first thing that springs to mind in such circumstances and I can see why it would be very easy to question God, 'Lord I pray, I believe, I try to live as you would want me to live, so why does it sometimes feel like I'm trying to jump one hurdle after another'?I think it's all about how we view the hurdles, we can look upon them as a victim and feel downtrodden, or badly done by compared to others, or we might think that God just isn't listening to us. The one thing we don't consider is to give thanks, why should we? we're suffering here.Turn it around, does the devil think that I'm that much of a threat that he has to continually try to poison my relationship with God? That says something loud and clear to me, continue to give thanks to God, whether it be for the good weather, the good food, the good roof over our heads, or.........that we are so close to God and important enough for the devil to take time out to target us and make us feel like a victim.I'm on a course at church which involves getting out there and sharing God's word, it's something I feel I really want to do, but it's scary because way back I would probably have been one of the people I'm bound to come across in the street, who thinks I'm a lunatic, but I feel passionate about saving as many people as I possibly can and a bit of rejection along the way is a small price to pay.I don't often ask for God to speak directly to me but a couple of days ago I did. The next morning I opened my bible to continue where I'd left off four days ago and I read;' Because you have seen me, you have believed, Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed'John 20 v 29.
