I do like Sundays.

I had the skin prickling much joy feeling at church this morning and the amosphere was amazing, as it always is when many people gather in the presence of God. I've been praying for someone very dear to me and while I was driving home a picture came into my head, I saw the person smiling and chatting with a look on their face that I haven't seen for a long time.

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles.

James

Have four birthdays really passed
Since we spoke
Since we shared a smile
Or listened to
'A different beat'
Together.

Missing you lots, Happy Birthday babe.
Love Aunty Sue x

When the lion roars.

I think this video is totally awsome, what an amazing testimony. Thanks to Chris for posting it on his blog and to Rebecca for sharing her story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut1SR4pPMKA

Centered

It was truly fabulous to go to church this morning and not have to worry about rushing off home to study, I hadn't realised just how much difference it makes to be centered on God and not have anything else on my mind.

Col continued on the theme he began last week, which is, "why we are sometimes in the wilderness" meaning that hard things come along and we struggle, it might be a few days or a few years, but we've all been there and I imagine we've all wondered why we have to go through very difficult times. I can only talk from a personal point of view here and say, at the most difficult time in my life, I felt at my most calm, most looked after and most loved. I don't know why I had to say goodbye to Chris, but I do know that my coming out of the wilderness is shaping me into a different person and somewhere down the line God has a plan for me. I embrace that thought.

Reflections

It doesn't do to be on one's own in the house all day, you do too much housework. So, I've paused to reflect on 2008.

All things considered it was a good year for me and my life is enriched beyond anything I'd ever imagined. The very best thing that happened last year was my baptism, which was the confirmation that my life, from that day forward, would be given to God. Had I only known what life was like when you truly walk with God, I'd have been first in the queue.

In September I started college, in my quest to knock number 1 off my list of things to do before I die. The course has given me so many wonderfully positive things in my life, I've met lots of new people, I love people, the more I meet in this life, the better. I have a reason to get up, look presentable and get myself out of the house every day. I have to use my brain, so I get tired and sleep like a log. I've worked harder than ever before in academic terms and the results have left me amazed at what I could achieve. I'm not really surprised though, because I asked for help and when you ask and you truly believe, you receive.

Christmas day was nice, it was just myself, Mike and John for dinner, then we watched a film, it was peaceful and happy, because I'm blessed with the family I have. (quote stolen from Chris's message).

When I told John I'd got 89% overall in Biology, he said, "just imagine, you could have been a doctor" I pondered for a minute and then replied, "I wouldn't change a thing" except the obvious of course, to still have Chris here.

Whether or not I end up at university doesn't matter that much, because I'm starting 2009 full of optimism, regardless of which path I'm meant to be on.

Chris

It's 2009 down here and we miss you more than ever babe. Wish you were here.

Strength

I've not been on here for a while, well that's not true actually, because I have, but I ended up hitting the delete button soon after reading my post back. I wrote another letter to Chris, I made up a poem to him and I just plain poured my heart out about how painful Christmas is. But for some reason I just couldn't post it.

I've had one of those horrid waves this last week and it all started when I tried to do Christmas shopping over a week ago. John and I set out to find this market, but as soon as I got out of the car and saw the decorations and heard the Christmas songs, I wanted no part of it. What used to be a happy, magical time, is just so sad when you've had to say goodbye to your child.

It's strange, but one of the blogs I read tonight was about a person who had received a transplant, he was paying tribute to his donor and saying thank you for my gift of life. It touched me and reminded me that I did get to see Chris enjoy a 'normal' life, some parents don't get that chance.

The one and only thing that has kept me going through this last week is a Sunday, when I get to church. I can't explain it to anyone, but it gives me superhuman strength. The lump in my throat is getting smaller now and I will do Christmas this year, thanks to the strength that God gives me, the lovely friends and family I have around me and reading Oli's blog.