Thoughts

I'm not going to go on about how full of joy my life is, as I usually do on here, because it just doesn't seem the right thing to do at the moment.

I've just been reading a thread on the cf forum which was posted by a young man with cf. He tells us how hard he's finding it to deal with the passing of a beautiful young girl (also with cf) whom he didn't really know that well. Young people with cf who are members of the forum read about others with cf losing their life regularly, it knocks them down, but time after time they pick themselves back up again and carry on. I have such great admiration for these wonderful and courageous people and they would absolutley hate me for saying that they're brave, because to them it's just life with cf. But I want to say it, because I feel it deeply right now.

The other reason for wanting to blog about this is because we have a similar situation going on here at the moment. Tragically two young lives have been lost in separate road traffic accidents, both of them were friends of my son Mike's girlfriend. One of them was one of her best friends and she's having a really hard time trying to come to terms with it. Mike has already lost his cousin, uncle and brother, which is harsh at such a young age, but these recent tragic deaths have really hit him hard, even though he hardly knew them.

Life is so difficult sometimes, I pray for everyone struggling to cope with the utter unfairness of it all and especially for the friends and families of Toria, Josh and Lucinda.

Lovely things

A very lovely and special friend of mine sent me this verse on Chris's birthday. It made me smile and that's a good 'thing'

I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, He said.
For you to love the while he lives and mourn when he is dead,
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you, but should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories, as solace for your grief,
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again.

I fancied that I heard them say: "Dear Lord, Thy will be done"
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness; we'll love him while we may,
And for happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him much sooner than we'd planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.

Thank you Em.

My life continues to be Blessed.

Chris.

Happy Birthday babe.

I can't write any more, feeling very vulnerable today.

Hard things.

I miss you so much.

Love..part a hundred an odd.

We’re back on the ‘Love’ thing this week and this time Col talked a lot about loving our husband/wife/children. He really could have been talking directly to me today because my poor husband and child haven’t seen very much of me in the last month. College is all consuming at the moment and it really is taking up a lot of my time, note to myself, don’t forget you have a hubby and son. During the service Col was saying he was so very glad he didn’t become a pastor when the children were young, because he’d have missed out on spending quality time with them. A lot of his time is taken up these days with the never ending (I imagine) things a pastor does. He urged us to take time out for our children and also for our partners, it has a big effect on our kids when they see their mum and dad happily spending time with each other. Do it!! before its too late, he said. At this point Daph, who was sitting next to me got hold of my hand and she kept hold of it for ages, Bless her. At the end she put her arms around me and said ‘I really felt it for you’ I got a bit of a lump in my throat, but I was able to say to her “I’m Blessed you know Daph” and I am, because the message our Chris left for us told me I’d done it right, I can’t begin to tell you how priceless that is.

There was another wonderful thing about today; Col had been to a Catholic funeral last week, it was the first time he’d seen the ‘breaking of bread’ in a Catholic church. He was touched by the respect with which the alter boy and girl laid out the cloths and the way people went to the front to receive the bread. He then announced ‘we are going to do it different here today’ everyone listened intently, ‘we’re going to do it the Catholic way’ and instead of passing the basket and wine round we’re all going to come to the front. Well my heart leapt a bit, I used to be a Catholic and part of me feels a bit guilty that I’ve abandoned a faith that I grew up with. I don’t regret becoming a ‘born again’ Christian for one minute, but I was overjoyed that the church is now becoming so open to other faiths, what an amazingly wonderful world this would be if we all loved and respected each other, no matter what………………now that would be mega love.

I am full to the brim with pure joy today, thank you My awesome God.