Stronger

I know I've said it many times, that God is my strength, but until recently I had just related that strength to the fact that I got through losing my lovely son and can still look at life with a positive mind. But it is so much more than that. I have totally changed, I'm not the person I was before I asked God to come into my life.

Frida's visit was the first thing that lead me to look at where I am now. I remember thinking how is it possible for anyone to forgive on the scale that she had, and how can she smile and be so positive. Second, I recently had what people who have lost someone very close to them term 'a wave', this is when grief hits you all over again. Afterwards I realised that although I'd been terribly sad during that wave, I still remained positive about everything else in my life. Terribly sad and positive are two emotions that could never have happened at the same time in my old life. Oh no! if I was terribly sad, then I would veer towards negative and depressed would usually make an appearance.

Thirdly, on Sunday Col (our pastor) talked about achieving greater things through faith, he said we're surrounded by a great crowd of witnesses, we should choose to find the gifts in each other and encourage them to get to the finishing line. We all have a different race mapped out for us and we all have a different finishing line, so there's no competition and we can all help each other to get there. Don't look back, look forward and with perseverance head for the the finishing line throwing off anything that entangles us. A few years ago I would have heard those words and my reaction would have been 'easier said than done Col'. but college this year has shown me time after time that to live by this brings out the very best in the human spirit.

I have a fourth so sit back down.

An injury to my shoulder and neck prompted me to get in touch with someone I haven't seen for two years, she's a holistic therapist and she's going to fix me, but the bonus is, she will also give me an insight into treating people from a holistic point of view and that will be invaluable for when I become a nurse.

Because I'm a student I now have to evaluate.

Because I have God in my life I have equilibrium, I trust totally in where I am and where I'm going and if things change tomorrow I know I'll be ok.