Today, I need you more!

It's four years today since we said goodbye (for now) to our Chris and to be honest it doesn't get any easier. If I allowed myself to, I could quite easily spend the rest of my days remembering and crying because I miss him so very much. But that would be such a waste of the precious time I have been given to live my life and Chris would definitely frown on the idea that anyone would choose not to live life to the fullest. I do still love life and I take great joy in the amazing things that have happened in my world over the last few years. Do I feel guilty sometimes because I've lost my son but still have great joy? No! I don't, ever, because Chris taught me that life is precious and that thought lives in me and drives me.

The joy in my life doesn't just appear though, it comes directly from God, my saviour, redeemer and friend. My amazing journey at university fulfilling a lifelong dream has only been possible because it is the path that God wants me on and when we ask Him to use us to glorify His name you can be sure He will. I asked God to help me to continue living my life after Chris died and He went far beyond my prayer, He gave me a purpose, a reason to carry on and a life that is so fulfilled.