Love again.

What an awsome day I've had today. As I've already said on my other blog, the service this morning was amazingly uplifting and tonight has been so special. Our church hosted the get together of several churches on the Wirral and I can't begin to put into words how good it feels to be among like minded people who just 'love' each other.

Being a welcomer at the door I stuck my hand out to greet everyone and do you know how wonderful it is that there's no embarrassment and no fear of rejection, it's just niceness and I'm Blessed to be a part of it.

I'm proud to be a part of working together on the Wirral.

Its good to be back.

What a truly wonderful feeling it is to be back in God's presence, to be filled with the joy of The Holy Spirit has to be the most comforting, strengthening and loving place that exists.

As I've done before and I daresay I'll do again, I got lost in believing I could handle the hard things in life with just my own strength and before I knew it, the inner peace and joy had started to wane. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a miserable person, but over the last few weeks that special thing was missing, I haven't even blogged about church for ages. That's probably because I didn't go last week and wasn't really there in spirit the week before. How, I ask myself, can I let my trust in God take a back seat and battle on with only human strength, when I know for sure I only have to open up and ask.

I'll tell you why, because sometimes the horrid things in life stun me for a while and I flounder and forget to ask God to help me to deal with them. This last few weeks four young people I know of have lost their lives and it is hard to come to terms with. To just accept and not acknowledge the sadness would be inhuman and disrespectful to the families and friends of those young people. To be sad and still have as strong a faith is something that I am Blessed with. But I still need reminding that I can't do it alone. I needed to hear Col's words today, every bit as much as Williams message, just to remind me that no matter what happens, God will pick me up and restore my joy and peace.

It's not by chance that my favourite song was sung this morning because I hear those words every time I really need them. Praise God.

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of your grace
In the power of your name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Higher than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

Your love O Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness
Reaches to the skies

I know that God has plans for me, He put college on my path and through Him I am doing better than I ever thought possible, because He is my strength.

Thoughts

I'm not going to go on about how full of joy my life is, as I usually do on here, because it just doesn't seem the right thing to do at the moment.

I've just been reading a thread on the cf forum which was posted by a young man with cf. He tells us how hard he's finding it to deal with the passing of a beautiful young girl (also with cf) whom he didn't really know that well. Young people with cf who are members of the forum read about others with cf losing their life regularly, it knocks them down, but time after time they pick themselves back up again and carry on. I have such great admiration for these wonderful and courageous people and they would absolutley hate me for saying that they're brave, because to them it's just life with cf. But I want to say it, because I feel it deeply right now.

The other reason for wanting to blog about this is because we have a similar situation going on here at the moment. Tragically two young lives have been lost in separate road traffic accidents, both of them were friends of my son Mike's girlfriend. One of them was one of her best friends and she's having a really hard time trying to come to terms with it. Mike has already lost his cousin, uncle and brother, which is harsh at such a young age, but these recent tragic deaths have really hit him hard, even though he hardly knew them.

Life is so difficult sometimes, I pray for everyone struggling to cope with the utter unfairness of it all and especially for the friends and families of Toria, Josh and Lucinda.

Lovely things

A very lovely and special friend of mine sent me this verse on Chris's birthday. It made me smile and that's a good 'thing'

I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, He said.
For you to love the while he lives and mourn when he is dead,
It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you, but should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories, as solace for your grief,
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return
But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again.

I fancied that I heard them say: "Dear Lord, Thy will be done"
For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness; we'll love him while we may,
And for happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him much sooner than we'd planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.

Thank you Em.

My life continues to be Blessed.

Chris.

Happy Birthday babe.

I can't write any more, feeling very vulnerable today.

Hard things.

I miss you so much.

Love..part a hundred an odd.

We’re back on the ‘Love’ thing this week and this time Col talked a lot about loving our husband/wife/children. He really could have been talking directly to me today because my poor husband and child haven’t seen very much of me in the last month. College is all consuming at the moment and it really is taking up a lot of my time, note to myself, don’t forget you have a hubby and son. During the service Col was saying he was so very glad he didn’t become a pastor when the children were young, because he’d have missed out on spending quality time with them. A lot of his time is taken up these days with the never ending (I imagine) things a pastor does. He urged us to take time out for our children and also for our partners, it has a big effect on our kids when they see their mum and dad happily spending time with each other. Do it!! before its too late, he said. At this point Daph, who was sitting next to me got hold of my hand and she kept hold of it for ages, Bless her. At the end she put her arms around me and said ‘I really felt it for you’ I got a bit of a lump in my throat, but I was able to say to her “I’m Blessed you know Daph” and I am, because the message our Chris left for us told me I’d done it right, I can’t begin to tell you how priceless that is.

There was another wonderful thing about today; Col had been to a Catholic funeral last week, it was the first time he’d seen the ‘breaking of bread’ in a Catholic church. He was touched by the respect with which the alter boy and girl laid out the cloths and the way people went to the front to receive the bread. He then announced ‘we are going to do it different here today’ everyone listened intently, ‘we’re going to do it the Catholic way’ and instead of passing the basket and wine round we’re all going to come to the front. Well my heart leapt a bit, I used to be a Catholic and part of me feels a bit guilty that I’ve abandoned a faith that I grew up with. I don’t regret becoming a ‘born again’ Christian for one minute, but I was overjoyed that the church is now becoming so open to other faiths, what an amazingly wonderful world this would be if we all loved and respected each other, no matter what………………now that would be mega love.

I am full to the brim with pure joy today, thank you My awesome God.