SUNday

Its Sunday again and as with every Sunday nowadays I’m feeling full of amazing peace, joy and freedom. I wish I could bottle it and give everyone I know a big dose of what I have I really do. Joy seems a strange one to have, in fact it’s the very last thing I imagined I’d ever feel again after saying goodbye to our Chris but its there along with freedom, freedom from the terrible loneliness, anger and yearning that comes with grief and its not just on Sundays sometimes it lasts for days. Thank you God.

I received an email this morning from someone saying that my blogs had helped them as regards their faith, I was so grateful for that email because becoming a Christian in the real sense of the word is sometimes testing, especially when your son who prayed all his life until Chris left us thinks you’ve lost the plot and become a fanatic and your hubby tells people ‘Sue’s a happy clappy now’. I’m solid in my faith and cheerfully agree that yes we are happy and we do clap so it’s a fair description really.

I can totally understand my son’s anger with God, who wouldn’t be angry that their brother or sister had to be born with cystic fibrosis and then go on to be given the chance of a new life for it only to be taken away eight and a half months later. But prolonged anger serves no purpose and only destroys the person it lives in eventually. Its a stage of grief which is well documented and ‘normal’ I’m just praying that it doesn’t stick around too long for him because an angry person is not a happy person.

Anyway back to C who mailed me, thank you for putting some sun in my day. God bless you.