Turbo Power.

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted on here, it's the madness of being a student nurse that has taken over my life and man has it been a hectic time. Anyway, this is not the place to go into that, this is 'quiet time' and today has been just the top up I needed to produce a calm and peaceful me.

I managed to get to church today, the first time in a month or so. Now I know you don't need to go to church to be in the presence of God because if you have a strong foundation in your relationship with Him then He's always by your side. But what it does give me is the extra turbo power to carry on with what has been a very hard and testing time. It isn't just going into church, it's talking to all those people who are so inspirational, they're doing something with thier lives and more often than not they are doing that something for other people not themselves. The second commandment says 'Love thy neighbour' and if they ask something of you don't just give it, but give extra. If we live by this commandment in my experience we recieve far more than we ever give out. The last five weeks have proved to me that no matter how hard I am finding things I still feel free from the old me who would have given up and that's because I am protected, loved and made to feel special, the turbo power is that extra that comes as a bonus from God.

Our vision.

Today's message brought to us by Col could have been spoken for me alone, it was so appropriate that it made me cry, several times. Not the despairing cry that leaves you feeling lonely and sad but the joy filled emotional cry that makes you realise once again how glad you are to be alive and on the amazing path that God has planned for you.

I had a bit of a rotter of a week last week, doubt had started to creep back into my mind about where I'm at in life and I began to wonder whether launching into a three year university course was what I really wanted to do. I began to question the ins and outs of nursing. Will I end up doing lots of paper work and not have time to interact with patients? Am I too old to do twelve hour shifts? Can I keep up with the hours of study? etc.. In fact I talked myself into a right old state and consequently cabbaged my own head....again!

On the way to church this morning I wasn't really focused, but I silently prayed for direction and straight thinking and that is exactly what I got. Col said "God has a vision for every one of us" He gave each of us a gift and it's in our hearts and our minds. He asked us if there was something that kept coming into our thoughts, something that we have always wanted to do but never got round to it, well that is our vision, our gift from God. Sometimes we spend so much time on the negative things in life and worry our days away but that precious time could be spent looking closely at what our gift could be and taking active steps to make it happen. God has a plan for us, He had it before we were born and He brings those thoughts back to us time after time, it's just up to us to listen, and act.

My sister comes to church with me now, she's been there the last two weeks and I can't begin to say how special that is for me. Life has thrown it's fair share of tough times at her and recently she's had a really hard time, but the look on her face today as she contemplated what God had planned for her was amazing. I know my sister is gifted and God knows that too, how exciting the future is going to be for her when she opens up her heart and realises her vision in life.

It has been the most special day today and I feel so positive that the road I am on is the right one because if it wasn't then the passion to become a nurse would not keep coming back to me would it. I am truly Blessed to have been given such a loud and clear message through Col today. Praise God!

Obsticles

First off I just want to say how great it is to be in the presence of God, there are no words that could put this feeling down in writing, it's 'special beyond special' (that's my best attempt).

Ian spoke today about the barrier that stands between us and God and the chasm in between that prevents us from connecting with Him. Imagine a life that's ok, but every time one of those obstacles comes along it causes us to crash in a major way. I know, because I did it many times way back. Now imagine a life where those obstacles still come along, but we don't crash in a major way. Yes, it's still hard and it still hurts, but there's something different.

The day I was baptised and asked God into my life He sent me a ladder to cross the chasm, that ladder was His son who died for my sins and made me whole again. I'm still climbing and will be for a long time, but I strive to continue this 'work in progress' because the other life was one with a great big chasm in it.

Everyone needs compassion
A love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender all.

Thanks Ian, Bless you for today's word.

Chris Moyles on church.

I've pinched this video from Chris's blog.....awsome!!

Stepping out of the boat.

I haven't written about our Sunday service for a while now, but each week as I'm leaving church I do have every intention of blogging about the message for that day. However something always seems to come up and I end up not getting on here.

I'm home a bit earlier today and feel compelled to get it down in writing, regardless of the hundred things that need my attention. They can wait, this can't, because I'm feeling inspired.

William spoke today about stepping out of the boat in faith. Peter was the only disciple who experienced walking on water because he saw Jesus and asked 'Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water' and Jesus replied 'come', that was all Peter needed to step out in faith. While walking on the water his attention was diverted to the wind and he became afraid and started to sink, so he called out to Jesus 'Lord save me' and Jesus took his hand, asking 'why did you doubt'

God wants our lives to be full, challenging, exciting and rewarding, he doesn't want us to live a groundhog day, but we need to take a step out of the boat and try new things. Yes, it will be scary to move away from the comfort zone that we know so well and it might not always work out in the way we planned it to (remember my being convinced I'd be the greatest evangelist who ever walked the streets of the Wirral, and I wasn't), but if we live with a spirit of fear and doubt, we'll stay put and be convinced we can't do anything about our situation. When we live in fear we open the door to depression, stress and defeat, but if we step out and try, God will use us in ways we never dreamed were possible.

When we lost Chris it was the perfect opportunity for a spirit of fear and depression to come into my life, but it didn't, instead I was given peace and a life that continues to be full of excitement and new things. I asked God to save me and show me which direction to go and He has been my salvation. I pray that I continue to have the courage to try new things even though they might be out of my comfort zone, because when you step out of the boat in faith and try, God will hear you.

This is the day the Lord has made, be glad and rejoice in it.

Live life then give life.

Three years ago a special person and their family gave the gift of life to somebody they would never meet and they will probably never know just how much that meant. It was priceless for us to see our precious son greet the day with the words 'how brilliant is this' and then swan off for a shower after a hearty breakfast. Normal stuff to many people, not to us though, and we will always be grateful that we got the chance to see Chris enjoy life again.

Missing you more than ever Chris and praying for the family who had to say goodbye to their loved one three years ago, but who made that terribly hard decision to be an organ donor. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

www.lltgl.org.uk

Living God.

Wooohoooo!!!

Our God is a living God, He was here yesterday, He's here today and He'll be here tomorrow.

Our Mike mentioned to me a few weeks ago that he worked with a guy who is a Christian, he said this person prays, not only for the major things in his life, but also for small every day problems he encounters. Such as what, I asked? Well, say for instance he is having a problem getting a nut or bolt undone, he'll stand back and pray for help and sure enough the thing will come out. Now, Mike is still angry with God for taking his brother away from him and he says it has to be a coincidence that the nut or bolt comes out each time this guy prays. I've never really thought of asking God for help with the minor things in life because it seems to undermine all the huge important issues that are more deserving of prayer.

However, I decided to ask for help to find my garage keys, they've been lost a week now and because I can't get at my mower the grass is starting to look like a wild meadow thing. Two days ago I sat down and said, 'Lord please direct me to where I should look for the keys' and straight away it came into my mind that they were in the flowers not far from the garage. I searched there for the umpteenth time and gave up because my hubby and my friend had also looked thoroughly through that flowerbed. This morning as I was cleaning it popped into my mind again to search the same flowers, it was as clear as a bell, so I dropped everything and went out to look again. There they were, right at the end of the flowerbed under some lobelia, I couldn't believe it.

The neighbours were treated to a very happy me, throwing the keys in the air, laughing my head off and shouting 'Thank you Lord' at the top of my voice. I won't be making a habit of praying for the small things in life, but I'll never ever doubt that it's ok to do so sometimes.

First time.

Well I did venture out and about and I fully expected to have a huge crowd around me, listening intently to me sharing God's word. However it wasn't quite like that, I wasn't very good at it actually and all I managed to do for the whole hour, was, to accept a Christian leaflet from a nice man who wasn't with our group. I know what it was, it was fear of rejection, I've always struggled with that one.

I'm not daunted though and I will try again, because I want to.

Giving thanks.

It seems to me the closer you get to God, the more you're tested and things will also most definitely pop up to prevent you getting to church where the comforting arms of the presence of God restores the peace and balance in your life. Rising to the challenge and standing firm is not the first thing that springs to mind in such circumstances and I can see why it would be very easy to question God, 'Lord I pray, I believe, I try to live as you would want me to live, so why does it sometimes feel like I'm trying to jump one hurdle after another'?

I think it's all about how we view the hurdles, we can look upon them as a victim and feel downtrodden, or badly done by compared to others, or we might think that God just isn't listening to us. The one thing we don't consider is to give thanks, why should we? we're suffering here.

Turn it around, does the devil think that I'm that much of a threat that he has to continually try to poison my relationship with God? That says something loud and clear to me, continue to give thanks to God, whether it be for the good weather, the good food, the good roof over our heads, or.........that we are so close to God and important enough for the devil to take time out to target us and make us feel like a victim.

I'm on a course at church which involves getting out there and sharing God's word, it's something I feel I really want to do, but it's scary because way back I would probably have been one of the people I'm bound to come across in the street, who thinks I'm a lunatic, but I feel passionate about saving as many people as I possibly can and a bit of rejection along the way is a small price to pay.

I don't often ask for God to speak directly to me but a couple of days ago I did. The next morning I opened my bible to continue where I'd left off four days ago and I read;

' Because you have seen me, you have believed, Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed'
John 20 v 29.

Sharing

Now that college is finished I've been spending some quality time with my sister, it's been ages and I've missed our time together terribly. She asked me a question today 'Is church the reason why you are so positive and happy'? I thought for a moment because in the past I probably would have answered 'yes' and left it there. However, because I now have a bit more confidence in sharing my faith I decided to tell her why I really feel happy and positive. I said it was because I have God in my life and because I truly believe and try to live Gods word my life is Blessed in many ways.

Sometimes family are the hardest to be open with, but today I found it so easy.

Praise God

Challenging

How do we share God's word?

As a fairly new born again Christian I tend to avoid out and out evangelism for several reasons, one, because I don't like having hell, fire and damnation thrown at me so I don't throw it at anyone else and two, because I'm embarrassed that people will think I've lost the plot if I walk up to a stranger and start talking about God. However the course I'm doing at church at the moment is making me look at why and how we talk to people about heaven and hell and where we think we'll end up. If I'm a Christian I obviously believe there is a God and I also believe there is a devil....

So! if we know there are two options why do we hesitate, why don't we just get out there and try to save as many people as we can so they don't end up in hell? I don't know the answer to that at the moment but that's why I'm doing this course, I'm learning and I'm being challenged to move out of my 'comfort zone'.

On eagles wings.

For some reason I just couldn't get myself on here yesterday, it was two years ago yesterday that we had to say goodbye (for now) to Chris and a voice in my head kept telling me I should be on here marking the day, but I sat down a few times and the words just wouldn't come to me. I'm quite glad now because the post could have been a bit depressing or negative and they're not words I ever associate with thoughts of Chris. Positive and happy are definitely what springs to mind whenever I think of him and because I know he's keeping an eye on me, positive and happy I will be.

It doesn't take a genius to hear the change in my mood and it's because I've experienced something special.....again. I missed church last week, we had the run up to the dreaded day and somewhere along the way I lost my joy and inner peace and couldn't focus on the positives, it wasn't nice. Today however is a bit different, no, it's a lot different. From the moment I left for church this morning I've been so close to Chris, on the journey there I had vivid pictures in my mind of us laughing hysterically, during the worship songs whenever I closed my eyes his face was there smiling and by the end of the service I felt uplifted beyond belief.

Col talked about us sharing God's Word and showing others just how different life is when you have a relationship with Him, I know I've said it many times before but I'll say it again, I wish I could bottle it and give everyone a dose of what I have, because it's so special and it's free to anyone who asks for it.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord,
Wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord,
Our God, you reign forever,
Our hope, our strong deliverer,
You are the everlasting God,
You do not faint, you don't grow weary,
You're the defender of the weak,
You comfort those in need,
You lift us up on wings, like eagles.

Inspiring

I pinched this off Chris's blog because I liked it a lot.

I refuse to be discouraged, To be sad, or to cry;
I refuse to be downhearted, and here’s the reason why:
I have a God who’s mighty, Who’s sovereign and supreme;
I have a God who loves me, and I am on His team.

He is all-wise and powerful. Jesus is His name;
Though everything is changeable, My God remains the same.
My God knows all that’s happening; Beginning to the end;
His presence is my comfort; He is my dearest Friend.

When sickness comes to weaken me, To bring my head down low,
I call upon my mighty God; Into His arms I go.
When circumstances threaten to rob me of my peace;
He draws me close unto His breast, Where all my strivings cease.

When my heart melts within me, and weakness takes control;
He gathers me into His arms, He soothes my heart and soul.
The great “I AM” is with me. My life is in His hand.
The “Son of the Lord” is my hope. It’s in His strength I stand.

I refuse to be defeated. My eyes are on my God;
He has promised to be with me, As through this life I trod.
I’m looking past all my circumstances, To Heaven’s throne above;
My prayers have reached the heart of God I’m resting in His love.

I give God thanks in everything. My eyes are on His face;
The battle’s His, the victory mine; He’ll help me win the race.

Stronger

I know I've said it many times, that God is my strength, but until recently I had just related that strength to the fact that I got through losing my lovely son and can still look at life with a positive mind. But it is so much more than that. I have totally changed, I'm not the person I was before I asked God to come into my life.

Frida's visit was the first thing that lead me to look at where I am now. I remember thinking how is it possible for anyone to forgive on the scale that she had, and how can she smile and be so positive. Second, I recently had what people who have lost someone very close to them term 'a wave', this is when grief hits you all over again. Afterwards I realised that although I'd been terribly sad during that wave, I still remained positive about everything else in my life. Terribly sad and positive are two emotions that could never have happened at the same time in my old life. Oh no! if I was terribly sad, then I would veer towards negative and depressed would usually make an appearance.

Thirdly, on Sunday Col (our pastor) talked about achieving greater things through faith, he said we're surrounded by a great crowd of witnesses, we should choose to find the gifts in each other and encourage them to get to the finishing line. We all have a different race mapped out for us and we all have a different finishing line, so there's no competition and we can all help each other to get there. Don't look back, look forward and with perseverance head for the the finishing line throwing off anything that entangles us. A few years ago I would have heard those words and my reaction would have been 'easier said than done Col'. but college this year has shown me time after time that to live by this brings out the very best in the human spirit.

I have a fourth so sit back down.

An injury to my shoulder and neck prompted me to get in touch with someone I haven't seen for two years, she's a holistic therapist and she's going to fix me, but the bonus is, she will also give me an insight into treating people from a holistic point of view and that will be invaluable for when I become a nurse.

Because I'm a student I now have to evaluate.

Because I have God in my life I have equilibrium, I trust totally in where I am and where I'm going and if things change tomorrow I know I'll be ok.

Amazing

My life goes from strength to strength, I haven't been on here for a while but I just wanted to do a quick update to let anyone who reads this blog know I'm good. I have something on my heart and will blog soon.

God Bless.
x x x

Special day.

I have had the most amazing day today and I'll carry it with me for ever and ever. We had Frida from Rwanda visiting us, she shared her miraculous story of her escape from death during the genocide in 1994. She also spoke to us about forgiveness and how she'd been freed by forgiving the people who killed her family and left her presumed dead. I mentioned Frida previously on here when her husband was visiting us sometime last year and I longed to meet her, but didn't ever think I would. You know that feeling you get when someone inspires you and you would love to meet them in person, well I had that when I listened to Steve (her husband) talking about her. I couldn't believe it when Col (our pastor) said she was going to be coming to our church sometime this year.

This morning I was humbled by her courage, touched by her sincerity and so full of happiness from the infectious joy that she spread through the whole room. I cried the whole way through the first part of her story this morning, but tonight, yes, I was still moved beyond belief that a human being should have had to endure such horror, but I was also fired up with enthusiasm. Frida will probably never know the extent to which she has made a difference to me, I'll hold her in my heart for ever and I thank God for sending her to our church. Frida has written a book about her story, if you have a few bob spare go buy it and help her to continue to make a difference.

'Chosen to die, destined to live'
Frida Gashumba

God Bless you Frida.

I do like Sundays.

I had the skin prickling much joy feeling at church this morning and the amosphere was amazing, as it always is when many people gather in the presence of God. I've been praying for someone very dear to me and while I was driving home a picture came into my head, I saw the person smiling and chatting with a look on their face that I haven't seen for a long time.

You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint You won't grow weary
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles.

James

Have four birthdays really passed
Since we spoke
Since we shared a smile
Or listened to
'A different beat'
Together.

Missing you lots, Happy Birthday babe.
Love Aunty Sue x

When the lion roars.

I think this video is totally awsome, what an amazing testimony. Thanks to Chris for posting it on his blog and to Rebecca for sharing her story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut1SR4pPMKA

Centered

It was truly fabulous to go to church this morning and not have to worry about rushing off home to study, I hadn't realised just how much difference it makes to be centered on God and not have anything else on my mind.

Col continued on the theme he began last week, which is, "why we are sometimes in the wilderness" meaning that hard things come along and we struggle, it might be a few days or a few years, but we've all been there and I imagine we've all wondered why we have to go through very difficult times. I can only talk from a personal point of view here and say, at the most difficult time in my life, I felt at my most calm, most looked after and most loved. I don't know why I had to say goodbye to Chris, but I do know that my coming out of the wilderness is shaping me into a different person and somewhere down the line God has a plan for me. I embrace that thought.

Reflections

It doesn't do to be on one's own in the house all day, you do too much housework. So, I've paused to reflect on 2008.

All things considered it was a good year for me and my life is enriched beyond anything I'd ever imagined. The very best thing that happened last year was my baptism, which was the confirmation that my life, from that day forward, would be given to God. Had I only known what life was like when you truly walk with God, I'd have been first in the queue.

In September I started college, in my quest to knock number 1 off my list of things to do before I die. The course has given me so many wonderfully positive things in my life, I've met lots of new people, I love people, the more I meet in this life, the better. I have a reason to get up, look presentable and get myself out of the house every day. I have to use my brain, so I get tired and sleep like a log. I've worked harder than ever before in academic terms and the results have left me amazed at what I could achieve. I'm not really surprised though, because I asked for help and when you ask and you truly believe, you receive.

Christmas day was nice, it was just myself, Mike and John for dinner, then we watched a film, it was peaceful and happy, because I'm blessed with the family I have. (quote stolen from Chris's message).

When I told John I'd got 89% overall in Biology, he said, "just imagine, you could have been a doctor" I pondered for a minute and then replied, "I wouldn't change a thing" except the obvious of course, to still have Chris here.

Whether or not I end up at university doesn't matter that much, because I'm starting 2009 full of optimism, regardless of which path I'm meant to be on.

Chris

It's 2009 down here and we miss you more than ever babe. Wish you were here.