My faith has been my rock since losing our Chris but last Sunday's sermon disturbed me a bit and its been a really hard week trying to get my head round the message. What I took from it was (my own interpretation) we don't have our prayers answered because 'we don't beleive' thats harsh. I beleive and I prayed along with many people for him to recover, he didnt but I trusted that that was not through lack of prayer or beleif. I've had a kind of guilty feeling since last week and thats something that I'm finding hard to handle.
I'm working on it.
Alpha, Church Membership, Worshipping
13 years ago
please don't feel guilty suzieQ, as you know I'm not religious at all so probably not the best person to comment on this, but I'd advise browsing through cfhusbands blog to look at ideas on why he feels god is testing him and how he'd feel if he loses gwen/trisha. He might have some answers.
ReplyDeleteNothing you could have done could have stopped Chris slipping away. You gave your heart soul and life to him and he loved you very much for it. You couldn't have been a better mum or a better person in my (humble) opinion and I suspect anyone else you asked would feel the same. xxxx
Hi Sue, its Linda Wends sister, I have just posted you an amazingly long letter and realized I had to log in and lost it woops.
ReplyDeleteAnyway this is what I said regarding Faith.
In the Bible it says if you have Faith of a mustard seed you can move mountains - have you seen the size of a mustard seed - I rest my case.
God spoke to me once while I was washing up and he said you know how much you love your children, the love you feel sometimes hurts - well I love you MORE, thats amazing, and He loves you He loves Chris and has Chris in His arms free of all ills.
You are wonderful, come for afternoon tea soon with my mad sister. Who incidentaly if you remember way back used to inject you with hawthorn needles he he. Keep smiling honey and keep questioning, BUT do not be shaken - the devil is in to shaking, so stamp on him and stand firm. Love ya
Thank you Em and Linda for your lovely comments, I only saw them this morning after Wend told me as this blog doesn't let me know when I receive comments.
ReplyDeleteEm I've been following Nate's blog for a while now and what an inspiration he is. I felt exactly the same as he does now in that I never ever questioned God and accepted that Chris had to leave us for whatever reason. As I read back over my blog I remember certain things that happened and I think God did answer a prayer but it was Chris's not ours. I know I'll work through this test and come out the other side a stronger person with an even stronger faith.
Thanks for thinking about me hun.
xxx
Hiya Lin,
Its so good to hear from you...it must be decades since I last saw you. Thank you for your wise words I certainly still have my faith and its way bigger than a mustard seed so I know I'll get through this testing time. I'm sure there's a reason for it and that I'll gain strength from it.
I so look forward to seeing you soon, lots to ask you about being a 'mature student' as well. Oh and by the way your mad sister didnt only inject people with hawthorn she whipped them with branches off the tree....How wicked was she eh!!!
Thanks for thinking about me hun.
xxx
Just noticed your new additon to this Blog and wanted to say that you shouldn't feel guilt for the way you feel. I for one prayed as hard as I could for Chris and you know I cared about him very much, even though I never met him.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a religious person, never have been, but I've always felt that when your time is up, it's up, no matter what you are, where you are and what you do to stop it. I think Chris knew that and he'd had enough of struggling - he resigned himself to the inevitable, sadly. In spirit, he's still with us, but his body could no longer fight the bad inflicted on him.
We all find out own way of coping so keep your faith and draw on it when you feel the need and don't feel guilt - Chris wouldn't have wanted that.
xxxx
Hi Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment, you're absolutley right that Chris wouldnt want me to feel any guilt and I hadn't up until that Sunday. I've done a lot of thinking since then and to be honest its done me good because I think things that test me can only make me stronger.
I guess I must know you because you say I know that you cared about Chris, thanks for thinking about me.
You do know me and I have no idea why it put me down as Anonymous! I didn't click that bit, but I'm sure you know who I am now. Muchess lovess as always, xxx
ReplyDelete